Raising Queer Youth

To celebrate Pride Month Headspace invited three pairs of parents And their LGBTQ plus identifying children To share an open, roundtable discussion On identity and support within our families And communities. (playful music) (music continues) When you're at home, you should feel safe. You should feel like that's where you belong. And you should feel like you're in a place that supports you, for all of who you are. And one of the things that I've realized is that I don't think parents know that they're creating unsafe spaces. Students, you know, will say, "Oh I can never come out to my family." And I'll talk to them, "Well, what makes you think that?" And they'll say, "Oh, I hear the things they say, I hear the jokes that they make." You know, parents have to be willing to learn. Being supportive in the home is the most important thing. And it's probably the most lacking thing. Because Fin has lots of friends whose parents are not supportive at all. It's really sad that people choose to put ridiculous outdated beliefs over their own child, you know? I think when a kid does come out to their parents, a lot of what makes the parent seem unaccepting is the fear. LGBTQ people have to go through a lot in our society and, genuinely, parents care for their kids. They want them to feel safe no matter what. And, so when somebody comes out to their parent, it's normal for a parent to feel scared. And in talking about how it really is like a practice. And that we don't all wake up and are, like, super great at being a mom, you know? Like, we've had to practice every day. And so, this is just another piece that we need to actually be deliberate and intentional with. Your kid comes out to you and you have no idea what to say and you have no idea what they need, but there's other parents out there who do and there's great books out there. There's this book, "And Tango Makes Three", about gay penguins that raise the egg together and that book meant a lot to Vinny when he was little. Yeah, that was one of my favorite books growing up. Just having the representation, that's really significant. I guess what I want the youth to know is that there are resources that they can point their parents to and their family to so that they don't have to always be the only one to educate us, you know, straight, cis people about what it is to be in the community. Something that I've had to learn pretty early on is to have patience. And, yes, the adults need to have patience with their queer kids, but a really big thing is the queer kids having patience with their parents and their families. Like, people need to be adamant with being like, "You have to be using the correct pronouns," but...