Headspace Conversations - Finding your Pride

(somber instrumental music) Hey there, I'm Ryan. Today, I'm here to talk about my mental health journey in relation to my coming out journey. I always knew I was different, always felt othered in some way and could never put words to that until I was much older. I think spending 23, 24 years of your life in the closet, fostering parts of yourself that you're confident in but yet neglecting a piece of you that you are the opposite of confident in is a worthwhile story to share. So, who would like to go next? How about Ryan? Yeah. I'm here to talk about my mental health journey, which I know you're probably like, him? He's so well adjusted. (people chuckling) What does he have to talk about? Well, I have always felt some sort of different my entire life. I quickly realized that difference wasn't necessarily widely accepted by some people around me and society. I'm fortunate in that I grew up with a mother who is trying her best. May not have had all the right tools and resources for herself to handle her own things, but she has known how to do anything my entire life, it's show me love. Now, on the other hand I have some father figures that were very keen on telling me who I was supposed to be, how I was supposed to act, who I was allowed to love, and how I was supposed to dress. I have vivid memories of standing in line at a department store and putting my hand on my hip and then getting yelled at for standing in a way that boys shouldn't stand. Yeah, yeah. And I was, you know, it was a ball of emotions. I wasn't the most athletic, but I was artsy, I was sensitive, and these were all terms that were not that age, I associated with being bad. Mm. It wasn't until much later after I had made it to college finished that, where I finally realized that I had been neglecting a part of me that deserved a little bit of love. That was when I came out and I am now a proud gay man. But at the time, it was a scary journey. Moved away from family down to LA in hopes of finding myself. Soon after moving down there, on this high of finally coming into my own, I fall in love for the first time. I am on cloud nine. I think I found my perfect person and little did I know four or five years down the line that this would lead to one of the hardest points of my life where that relationship ended. And it really forced me to question and confront the part of me needed some help, and I sought a therapist. It's changed my life in providing me the tools in tandem with meditation and mindfulness and fitness to at least be able to look at myself with a...