The Many Sides of Self-Care

It's Jamila here. I'll be honest. When I first started my self-care journey, I thought it was all about little moments of indulgence for the sake of pleasure, like getting a Manny Petty ordering takeout, or buying that cute thing I saw online because it sparked joy. Eventually, my understanding of what it means to care for myself grew to include unpacking years of unacknowledged trauma and social conditioning, transforming my self-sabotaging 10 tendencies, examining my limiting beliefs, setting boundaries, taking leaps of faith, having hard conversations, and asking for help even when I don't feel worthy of it. Self-care isn't always as glamorous as it looks on the gram today. I want to uplift some truths about self-care that we don't often hear about, like sometimes it doesn't feel good to do. Sometimes it's super boring. Sometimes it actually means community care, caring for yourself by letting others care for you. I used to say self-care isn't selfish and that affirmation has a lot of power, but sometimes it is selfish and that's totally okay. A lot of the time we think of selfishness as acting for one's self with complete and utter disregard for others. But this definition doesn't take into account one thing. Time selfish means seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or wellbeing without regard for others, the definition doesn't say always, which would of course be problematic, but sometimes yes, I concentrate on my own pleasure and wellbeing without thinking of others. That doesn't make me a bad person. It just means that sometimes I put myself first. Sometimes I zoom in and pour into myself for a moment without thinking or worrying about what anyone else needs. Caring for yourself doesn't mean you've abandoned care for other people entirely and for all time. It just means you're focusing on yourself for a moment. It doesn't mean anything about your character. It has everything to do with your choice, but that choice can feel so hard to make, especially if you are a parent or caregiver of any kind. This might feel unavailable to you, but there are small ways to direct your full attention to your own well-being, even if it's just a deep breath in the morning or a moment of mindful pause in the middle of the day. Self-care is really about taking time for yourself, even if it's just a few minutes. It's an ongoing commitment that you make to yourself to nurture your body, mind, and spirit, and it begins with knowing what you need in order to thrive. Let's practice now. Close your eyes if you can or simply lower your gaze. Settle in a comfortable position. Let yourself get fully grounded and anchored into this moment. Let yourself take this time for you and let distractions go for a while. Use your breath to arrive fully. Let your body soften into the present moment, letting any tension be released and to move through you as if...