Healed People Heal People, with Sharona Drake-Henderson

(bright music) Headspace Studios. Hey, everyone. I'm Sharona Drake-Henderson, your guest host this week. Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Tuesday. If you listened yesterday, you know that this week is all about restorative parenting and how understanding our past can help us raise our children in a more caring way than we were raised. Now, we've all heard the phrase, "Hurt people, hurt people," this idea that when we feel bad, we want others to feel bad too, and it's a messy ripple effect. But I like to focus on a more productive saying, "Healed people, heal people," and how working through our own personal trauma can create peace and joy, not only for us, but for our kids. So let's talk about healing, why we should make it a priority, especially as caregivers, and how to begin the healing process today. I was dealing with my kid recently and I just felt like, man, this child is off the chain right now, he's bouncing off the walls, he's not listening, he's doing this, all the things. Everything was getting on my nerves. and that's not something I always feel all the time. I found myself having to walk out the room and taking more time outs personally than I would typically have to. And I was going to my therapist, as I feel like we all should. She said, "You know, I think you need to see a sleep doctor. "I think you're not resting." I realized that I still had some fears from when my child was sick and sometimes I don't go to sleep or rest or allow my mind to because I'm worried about what he's doing. I would worry about the next day with work. And I was like, "Well, what if I sleep too hard?" And she says, "Well, what's happening with you not sleeping enough?" I was like, "Wow, okay. "Yeah, you're right." And I started getting sleep and my parenting changed. Some of us need to heal the things that keep us from sleeping at night. And from those healed spaces, from a happier space, when I'm less tired, I could play more. I show up with my child and in every space with a little more joy. And so I've started to ask myself this question when parenting, and I think that it would be helpful for you all listening too. If I was at the happiest space in my life right now, in this moment, how would I respond to what's going on with my child and the people around me? And if the thing that my kid is doing wouldn't be annoying if I was at the happiest space in my life, then maybe they're not the issue at all. I need to adjust my attitude. And so what I do is I respond or I try to respond as the happiest version of myself, and then I can take that time away to deal with the thing that...